schnergasm

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You know you’ve got a professional schnerg on your hands when it’s completely unnecessary to write anything creative and just cut-&-paste from the guy’s website: Destin Gerek is the original Erotic Rockstar (TM)

Add the fact that he’s got a California-issued license as a certified masturbator (yes, I am serious, see the video link below,) and I present part one of our investigative series on this west coast schnergburg.

“An Erotic Rockstar has style. That doesn’t necessarily mean MY style. My style is my style. Find your style. Really let yourself explore it. Every time you put clothes on, or even when you aren’t wearing any, you are adorning a costume to present yourself to the world. Whether your costume presents you as a punk, a prep, a jock, a college student, a gutter punk, a business man, or an erotic rockstar, what you wear plays a key role in how others perceive you and interact with you, thus shaping your very world. Choose wisely. Who do you want to be? What world do you want to live in?”

Deep thoughts indeed, Jack Handy.  I want to live in a world where some topless guy comes to my living room and sits cross-legged talking about his granny and blowing his load at the same time.

Ta-da! That world exists!!! In this video, the erotic rock star talks about the “staircase of jiz” – notice that he’s got his crystal ball next to him. I’d hate to think what he sees in that thing, or where it’s been. Or what it’s polished with.

Also, maybe I’m nuts but does he seem like he’s peaking on some sweet rolls? (another one here)

So what does an Erotic Rock Star do, exactly? Well for one, he must do a lot of messy work, because his shirts always seem to be in the washing machine.

Also, he offers courses for guys that can’t handle themselves in bed. His course, “Comprehensive Erotic Evolution,” includes info that “most men have never dreamed of.”  You are right, I have never dreamed of dressing up in garters and panties and letting my wife take me around by a dog collar.

There’s also a course called “Orgasmic Mastery,” which costs $500 and from what I gather gets you links to some videos. I can only hope they are as good as these ones.

What doesn’t an Erotic Rock Star do? Whack off using an up-down motion, apparently. Here, The Erotic Rock Star presents a 7 minute video describing a 30 minute “self-pleasuring” session that was part of his coursework at the California Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Masturbation indeed.

 

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