The Anti-Schnerg

So as I get older and more mellow, I think to myself at times, “Self, you should be more positive. Self, you shouldn’t spend so much time bringing people down. Be like Bambi. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” And then I think of this video featuring Bambi. And I go back to the schnerg list.

But to temper that anger with a bit of sunshine, a new category begins today. The Anti-Schnerg. For every Yin, there’s a Yang. And for every schnerg, there’s a Dan Savage. Ok maybe the ratio isn’t 1:1 but there are some cool people out there. Dan is top of the list.

The Anti-Schnerg, A True American Hero

Dan is a syndicated sex and relationship advice columnist who appears weekly in newspapers across Canada and the U.S.  Sorry – to be more clear – he’s the best sex and relationship columnist ever. He’s funny, he’s political, he’s open-minded, and he almost always gives spot-on advice. When he doesn’t he admits his mistakes. Or he’s man enough to admit that he was drunk when he wrote his answer and that he could have done better.

So what makes Dan just so amazing? Well firstly, he’s a proponent of indulging almost every kink out there (no animals, poopie is gross, of course no kids, and everything should be consensual.) This means that readers with serious kinks have been writing to him for years. Thought the “Furries” epsidoe of Entourage was funny? Dan had been telling his readers about furries for years.

Next, his advice is funny and accurate. In today’s column, a bisexual guy writes in saying that his wife doesn’t believe he’s really bi, because he never took it up the butt. Dan’s initial suggestion? “Take it in the ass a couple dozen times and present your wife with a lovely boxed set of commemorative DVDs.”

Political? You bet. In 2003, Rick Santorum, a US Senator, tried to argue that states should have the right into people’s bedrooms to regulate consensual gay sex in the same way it to incest, pedophilia and other atrocious acts. (Not something Canadian’s would go for, certainly.) Dan’s reaction to the homophobic rhetoric? Start a contest to come up with a sex act or object to be named forevermore “Santorum.” The result: The #1 hit on Google for Santorum is defined as: The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.

Not a way I’d want to be remembered.

So congratulations Dan Savage, for being the first Anti-Schnerg ever honored. Let’s hope there are many more.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Comrade May Wine on April 16, 2010 at 2:15 am

    agree 100%!
    Well done schnergie, well done.

    Reply

  2. Thanks – Dan’s been consistently entertaining me for years, it might be the longest relationship I’ve ever been in,

    Reply

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