Bellini sandwich, extra mustard

If a pimento loaf could walk, talk, and report from Afghanistan, Jason Bellini would be on the Pimento List. But since a pimento loaf is an inanimate luncheon meat, Bellini’s name starts off The Schnerglist.

Bellini is a reporter of sorts, although his career seems to have rapidly descended, going from CNN war-zone correspondent to video-blogger on Logo news, the gay news network. Now he’s at Bloomberg, the financial news network.

Bellini first jumped on to the Schnergbeat reporting from Afghanistan, after Operation Exploding Burqa was ‘Mission Accomplished.’ During one of the most chaotic and significant moments of the early 21st century, he did a piece on kite flying.  You can get the whole transcript on CNNs page, and here’s an excerpt:

Kites flutter gracefully in the sky on lazy afternoon in Kabul. Until, that is, one of their lines is cut by a fellow kite. Then the true nature of this Afghan game is revealed…

Kite flying here is a really savage game. The way it works is, once your kite’s up in the air, you begin fighting with all the other kites. They try to cut your string and you try to cut their string…

The games children play in Afghanistan. Games not only of joy, but metaphors of survival in this tough land, acted out with kites and cocks.

The interview goes from kite flying to cock fights, but the whole time everybody chumps Bellini out to his face when he asks his dumb questions. Afghans know a schnerg when they see one.  And maybe it’s me, but there’s something unsettling about a guy talking to young boys about cockfights.

Bellini had a video blog called “Here And Now” on Logo that seems to have been taken down. But you can check the audio for my favourite episode, “Puppies”, on Daily Splice. Any video that starts with “I was down in Virginia covering the massacre at Virginia Tech, and my boyfriend and I ended up buying some – PUPPIES!” is a winner. The dogs get away, and he chases them, and ohhh it’s truly precious.

He’s still got the puppies, featured on his Facebook page, and his Youtube channel is a weird chiasma of career highlights, lowlights, and music videos he’s made starring his dogs.Not sure if the boyfriend is still around.

I’d get out of dodge if my man took off to an Ivy-League dude ranch in the desert.

Check out the video tribute to Jason Bellini.

(Schnergmaster’s note – this is an updated version of the entry that originally appeared on I actually feel a bit bad posting it now because the guy’s career really seems to have sunk. But he’s so schnergy it would be a disservice to you if I didn’t re-post. So, so schnergy.)


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